life has a question mark over it is it worth it?

Once again i am sitting infront of this blank page and wondering what  to write seems to be that I have said it all.

Saw the doctor today who believes that taking my beta blocker has given me severe depression so now he wants to solve that problem by taking me off one drug and onto another and see if it improves my state.

I didnt think that beta blockers affected the emotional state but by the sounds of it they can in some cases. So something to be aware of.

I was late to Ucol today but I was proud of myself because I didn't give up and stay home just because I was running an hour late I still went in, and accomplished what I needed to.

I fronted up to my tutor and told her what is going on with me at the moment health wise and how I'm really struggling. I also opened up to a few classmates, who were extremely supportive and said they have struggled with depression too. They admitted to that the work load is heavy and they are struggling with expectations. They told me that they are there for support and I'm not alone. So that was comforting.

I told my doctor that I don't think I will be able to stop myself from killing myself. He just nodded and said I hope you are around next time to see me. He cant do much last time he sent me to mental health and I was sent home after a chat and there are no crisis beds available.

Ive been told by two friends tonight to just hang in there, hmmm

Life has a big question mark over it....is it worth it ?