Am so angry and appauled by the judgement and stigma attached to mental illness still in New Zealand.
This judgemental spirit that lingers stops people who need to talk, and need support from reaching out to get it. They feel that it is weak, and goes against the harden up stay staunch persona that they are so called meant to display.
Because of keeping this persona of staying staunch they keep their issues to themselves and this quite often leads to their downfall.
Let's face it we have a high suicide rate in nz and the numbers just keep going up to our dismay.
So how can this be rectified. Well to start with will the rest of New Zealanders who don't have mental health issues, or depression just learn to lay off those who do.
It's not a weakness to come forward and share your story, your experiences living with and surviving mental health. It's also not a weakness to ask for help, say look I'm struggling, I'm finding life really tough and need some assistance.
It's also not a weakness to be someone who listens to their friends and family and members of the public that need a hearing ear in times of,need, who knows you could be saving a life. Isn't that worth the time spent with that person.
You may ask how do I talk to someone who's suicidal or down? Just approach them as you would a good friend, you can look for patterns in their behaviour and anything out of the ordinary like are they absent from Facebook a lot when previously they were posting stuff, or they gone quiet and stopped hanging out at usual hangouts, they choosing to isolate themself that's a warning signal.
You can just send them a msg on Facebook like how are you? To get the lines of communication open. Draw them out. Or visit them, ring them on the phone. simply asking them are you ok goes a long way to opening the door to talking about whatever is bothering them.
You may have to hold the hope for someone for a time before they are ready to accept it back. Just being there in the background and staying involved. Notify the relevant authorities if you are worried about the persons welfare otherwise just be a good friend whom they can vent to, talk to, cry to whatever.
Sometimes you see more in a person than what they can see in themselves so point out things about that person that you admire, qualities, physical attributes, strength, have the confidence in the person that they are missing in themselves, it may be enough for that person to hear those things and live through another day.
You have to let that person know how valuable they are, and how much you would miss them if they weren't around, coz people in a depressed suicidal state cannot see their worth. They need you to see it for them and remember their positive points.
I've been lucky in that I have had a dear friend who's been my confidant and held the hope for me when I haven't seen it for myself. This person is extremely dear, I have also been lucky to have people that have pointed out the consequences of making a permanent decision. How impossible it is to take it back once it is made, and how it passes on your pain to the rest of your family and friends, to this date this has been a deciding factor.
I think it's so so important that people change their viewpoints surrounding suicidal people just being attention seekers
Most are not, they have just reached a point where they cannot bear the emotional pain they are carrying any longer and need to leave this life as they see no other way than death to rid themselves of this burden.
They arent selfish they are in deep psychological pain. They also feel they are doing everyone a favour by disappearing as they feel they are no fun to be around anymore and just burdening.
Its this we need to contridict talk about how important and valued these people are and how much of a hole would be left if they weren't around.
These are lifesaving conversations and very important.
Consequences follow every action
Share the consequences of them ending life on the family community country people who see and respond all affected by actions.
Truth.
Need it In order to make informed decisions.
Share what they would miss out on
keeping lines of communication open is key
Also maybe medication counseling
No shame in seeking help!!!
Staying staunch attitude not doing suicide statistics any favours so instead let's talk
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