a broken vessel that stands and those that try to fix it

When you have serious mental health issues, its easy sometimes to look around for someone to save you from yourself. You don't trust your own abilities and see your own worth through what you have been through in your past, and what you see in your present.

A saviour -  you put some people on a pedestal because they have been kind to you, have helped you out of a jam.

They become the one you go to.


You don't want to be a nuisance you just want this person to take away your pain, your burden, your incredibly bad luck that life has thrown your way.


You want to scream and shout and tell everyone off and you get frustrated at yourself and the way you are. Who you are when you look in the mirror

you wonder whom that girl is - who's the reflection.
she looks so put together.
so capable.



You cant see that gorgeous girl, capable girl that others can see.


You forget that you are strong and can handle anything thats thrown your way. You have managed before and you manage time and time again.


you forget that others have problems too.

everything becomes about you. your world is circling, and limited by a narrow viewpoint.

all conversation becomes revolved around you

your sucked into self pity and hatred.


Yes you want someone to take your burden from you. You want someone to tell you everything is going to be ok., even though you doubt it will ever be.

That person becomes your hero because by their words or what they have said it has given you a day longer living your life.

the influence of good - of positivity your sucked in. Because your so scared and terrified of what its going to be like without that positive voice in your corner.


how can you ever stand on your own!


its a vicious poison though as that person gets tired of you, tired of your struggles, wonders why you haven't got it together.


views you as in the too hard basket.

walks away

and your there wondering why?

how did a friendship become so toxic.


maybe there are no answers
they can never understand just what its like to walk in your shoes.

the most painful thing to know is that they cannot fix you


only you can fix whats broken. Or make the most of the broken vessel that stands.