misunderstood by MHT

Saw my psychologist last week and the cold reception I got I was not prepared for.

Yes I had missed two appointments but I was sick and had good reasons for not coming. But none of those reasons meant anything to this lady sitting opposite me. I felt judged, I felt that she saw me as a no hoper.

Does she realise how much I am struggling to stay alive!
I tell her just a portion of whats going on in my mind and automatically she's saying to me just make some goals, you don't want to have a career in mental health services do you.

My answer to that is I am doing everything I can to survive this illness but its too much for me to handle.

Im severely depressed, and not at a place where I can snap out of how I'm feeling, i wish i could. trust me. Goal setting  is impossible right now its more a minute by minute thing.

Im not even sleeping - having insomnia. not getting to sleep till early hours of the morning. Despite good sleep hygiene

The way my psychologist talked to me it was like she felt that I was wasting her time, and not getting better.
I would like to see her be me for one day and see how she manages this its not a walk in the park!

The only good thing about my appointment was that I left the room with my DBT certificate for the programme i attended last year. Also she has put forth a referral to pathways for a support worker, to help me.

She has said theres not much more that mental health services can do for my circumstances, and that if i wish I can be discharged to my GP she has asked me to think about it carefully. Then I can be referred for EMDR and trauma therapy somewhere local.


I started going down this track but the lady who was taking the EMDR Therapy acknowledged she wasn't experienced enough to help me and my type of trauma. So back to finding someone who actually can help.

Tried to go to church on Sunday got dressed up for it, but had major panic attack and anxiety and couldn't get myself out of the door. Even still thats a win just to get that far when PTSD is majorly affecting me and my life.

have had to reach out this week to people as not coping well.


oh well Monday today.