unable to cry

Once again I am crying inside and want to show the emotion on the outside, but my tears won't come I'm staying staunch, Im trying to be brave.

Its horrible screaming and crying and knowing nobody can make you feel better, nobody can take away the agony that befalls you.

I don't know how to explain it in terms that the regular reader would understand.

When you have been let down so much by so many people that you thought you could trust and others that were your friends and have walked away and said goodbye

You try to survive day by day. But I know already that the suffering is too much and Im not sure how much more can be handled. By both my health and those who respond negatively towards it. When can I honestly turn around and say enough is enough Im out.

Seeking, searching for help and answers. Medication that actually does something.

but no answers to be found in medication, only in strategies to manage day by day.

but even that does not manage the Chaos of the mind

I ask myself often what is my purpose here, why was I put through all of this pain. Why does it have such a grip on me..

and it hurts.