In the darkness

Goodness me another tough night for me last night. Theres something wrong with being alone with the lights out, some nights its okay and others its really hard to handle.

Left alone with just yourself, and your thoughts. You might shout at me I should get a hobby - well i do have hobbies and interests, but late at night well those don't even come into my perspectives.

It is just me - and I am completely aware of the person - and I don't like that person.

Whether its that I want to run I do not know. Am I afraid.

But when these thoughts are strongest and trying to turn me towards making that thought a reality its me fighting for my life against the most pressing, convincing enemy that could ever make the history books or the pages of a novel.

He tells me its what everyone wants you to do, that your life is not going to be anything great so just give up now, heres the door.
It gives me a detailed way of accomplishing this task.

He is so convincing I know exactly why he's been so successful in getting victims but am i just a plaque on a grave, here lies, ........ age......died. Or am i something else?



I know if I Succumb for just a moment- or entertain the idea that I will be sucked into the snare within. Because the words are like sweet honey just the idea of being peaceful but its false hope and trickery as nothing is as easy as just taking a sleep.

Ive been told time and time again what the effects are on those around.
do i want to leave that pain?



If I'm not careful, and don't watch it I will be another statistic.
ultimately friends and family can be there for you but

Its only me that can stop that eventuality from happening.