letter to my readers and those who struggle.

Dear Readers of this blog.

Please feedback if you like my posts, because this lets me know where your heads are at in relation to the issues that are highlighted.

The posts that are on here are 100% real and true and nothing is hidden from view. The girl you read about on here is the girl that I am the woman I am who is struggling with her identity with herself as a person surrounded by mental health issues.


I have been let down by the health system at times and that is touched on as well through my posts. So if you have any experiences relating to mental health or the health system in general please feel free to post a comment, or many comments as the situation arises.

The struggle of a brain who wants to die, but family and friends want you to stay alive is very realistic to how it is everyday. The extremes in mood and temperament. Not able to find a middle ground despite therapy that has been undertaken. Now in more complex therapy treatments for PTSD.

I have issues with social media and my viewpoint of twitter and Facebook and such things. They can be positive in the right context but also can be very negative to individuals in other contexts.

People say what they like over a keyboard not really seeing the person behind the screen who may be crying or in torment.  Bullying is rampant, so are posts of people crying out for help that aren't always attended to.

Social Media can be about showing off, showing how wonderful your life is. Well how does that make the person feel that doesn't have life worked out in such a way as you do. The ones with mental health difficulties, the ones on benefits through the government, the ones that are struggling to get through minute by minute hour by hour.

I have issues with people that say having depression is hard enough, what about having to live with a trio of mental health issues, and having all that trauma coming up in your everyday life? could you live with that then?

I don't believe that suicide is the easy way out i believe its the way that finds itself to the consciousness when all other ways have been explored and the pain is so deep that you cant go on. Its a way of survival and to the individual involved, a very emotional and terribly hard decision but you feel that you can no longer live one more day.

Its very hard to explain that to people who have not been in that space. The dark clouds, the walls, the darkness without any light you don't see hope, you don't see anything but your pain and yourself. Severe depression is something I would not wish on anyone, as well as other mental health issues.

So how do you stay alive you may wonder?
You learn what it takes to survive when you have no other choice but to be strong within your circumstances, when your starring death in the face and know its either go this way and break hearts of your family and friends or keep strong and fight through the hard times.
I have to say for me its been the reminders I have got from The Key to Life Charitable Trust started by Mike King - suicide is not okay thats what sticks in my mind.
Also The Nutters Club Started by Mike King. Reminding me that others out there are struggling too and giving me strategies to keep going.
Also Rats Riders Against Teenage Suicide - well for me they have been there when others have not.


Also using such services such as Lifeline where you can talk to someone about whats bothering you.

Ive been lucky in that I have been through DBT as well. Which gave me strategies that help me cope.

I still lose it though from time to time.

thats why I say to all of you out there. Look out for your friends, family and complete strangers.

a word spoken at the right time is a lifesaver!


so many times I've been so close to committing suicide and its someone who's
reached out to me thats stopped me in my tracks and helped me to stay strong.


you can be that person for someone who needs you!!!!!!
and if you need that person well remember you are strong too, and reach out. Reaching out for help is a sign of strength not weakness. Its okay to say Im not doing okay I need support.


Lets take Care of our Whanau.