another letter to you inner child

Another letter to You Inner Child.

Good evening child within my inner child. I hear your cries your screaming for help, I see the pain in your face with every word that you utter. I don't see tears but you can let it out you can cry.
Baby girl you have been through so much, you have experienced too much for one girl to handle.
Please let me take some of this burden off your shoulders. Let me carry it and dump it in the garbage.
You know its not healthy to live in the past, you know its a bad place to stay.

Baby girl oh baby girl can I give you a hug can I cuddle you and make you feel safe. Your not alone your not abandoned. You are wanted you are loved.

Oh child sweet child you only saw things from your viewpoint, your lense was mangled.

People let you down and those closest to you should of been near but they were not.

Why was your mum trying to run away? and why are u following in  her footsteps. Whats so scary my dear child please say.

People want you to hang around and grow, not give up.

Child sit on my knee, put your hands in my lap, and I would warmly embrace you. Because dear child we must stick together as we are facing the same war but time zones apart.

Dear Child, where are your drawings, where are the correspondence that you sent. Did you ever capture your feelings your thoughts in art. I know that your older counterpart embraces art and all it stands for, the expression of the soul.

What does that mean lay your soul bear. But you and I find that hard to do. We do not want people to see our vunerablity, we want to be strong, but how can you be strong when all you are carrying is breaking you and ruining the view.

I do not expect you to understand child, you had the thought that we would be okay. Maybe your right time will tell, but the heart has poison in its shell and hurt is there as its unwelcome visitor.

Why are you so angry, resentful and bitter dear child. Was he loved more than you? Were you ever enough? why did he get off let free with no issues. Why do you have to suffer.

Dear child I know you have been scared of her, your closest family member, but the anger she showed the rage of a thousand bulls, you were the sacrifice, you are the one who had to eat her words with soap. Torture or discipline please tell me which? I see it as a time the young child couldn't bear to forget.

Belts, rolled up newspapers, anything to hit you square on the bum. Dear child, did you have to sit at the table and finish all of your meal before you could leave. What were your strict instructions, and yr brother was free to eat as he pleased.

Please tell me where the double standard for children entered into the parenting rule book. Seems like you child had the hard end, the tough bargaining chip. I know how did that make you feel when you saw your brother get off scott free. When you watched him get to go to camps, balls, and school dances. Was it just cos you were a girl that you were refused?

I will never understand your journey fully dear child. I know the older child still cries inside when she went through the embarressment, and eyes starring at her.

The older child had to grow up quickly, because she was made to be naive.

Young child your vunerability is still seen clear as day, you didnt grow out of it, just became more cautious. You thought you were safe but you weren't. Someone who was meant to be a friend took advantage. A scandal he started.

The scoundrel you'll never forget his name as its tattooed on you.

How can you find that innocence once again? How can you undo all that hurt.
first of all dear child you need to grieve. grieve for the child, then grieve for the child at 14 years of age, 16 and then 22.


Now Dear Child we aren't dealing with a child but a woman but that woman is only a woman in form.  Her mind is a childs, or a teenager, her mind is that of a child hiding from the world scared to be rejected to be abandoned. Her mind is a playground for suicidal decisions..plotting to take her life plotting to kill her soul. Do we let that mind reign free,.

Dear child the forgiveness needs to come from you, you and the Woman both need to meet and make an agreement for a way to go on. She doesn't want to remain in prisoned. she's been in a cage for too long.

You both agree there that its not living if your living with hell. The fire and flames cant kill you your numb to them but words, and deeds are like swords if they are used wrong.

See the problem is dear child that the woman feels numbed by her pain, and like she's dead inside.
You either need to show her some love and vice versa or she will head off the edge of the cliff she will run in the other direction.

Nobody can keep feeling this amount of painful occurrences and not be affected.

See she's already chosen her coffin, her funeral song, and her dress. but the final stamp of a dead  woman is losing hope.
She's gripping on tightly, she's trying to find her ladder. but part of reaching for the ladder is bringing you up the ladder as well.

You both cant stay in the massive pitt that has been created by circumstance, by association.

See dear child she's a fighter and she's fighting to see a better tomorrow. But she needs you to try and see past your pain.

See the butterfly flying around in the warmth of a sunny day.

the sun what a concept when you are stuck in a storm or a hurricane, a memory can be so powerful that it never fades, but somehow it needs to be reframed to make another positive story.


Because the light cant shine in if the light switch is not turned on.