psychological abuse killer to your heart

Its a strange feeling to still feel rejection by those closest to you.

Like your meant to love them, your meant to respect them but you are so damn frightened of them at the same time.

She yells, she makes her demands known. Nobody else is present she sets her sights on you.

Why does she choose me a little voice quietly whispers to herself, why can not she just leave me be.
Pushing and prodding till she finds the buttons the sparks that start the fire.

Why does she like making me feel so small. The critiscm is not constructive feedback.
Its torturous sayings that relive and relive and cause me to run.

I don't know why she affects me so even though I try so hard to be big and strong and able and resillient from her attacks.
But privately I weep internally.

The person I am meant to trust, who's meant to be there for me is just a stranger, or a big bully teasing me in the playground.
Nothings nice about being naive, nothings nice about being teased.
the joking around you, all your family get the joke, but you wonder why the joke is you?
whats wrong
why aren't I laughing?

You feel so  alone cos you are trying to pick up the shattered pieces off the floor.
when the image in the mirror seems to be someone else, and not connect to the inner
You feel like your around a stranger just a front of a put together person.
But the burdens carried are heavy and you sigh

She's nice to everyone around you, they don't see the side that I witness.
the terrifying creature that lurks within.

Oh I wish I wish I could erase a lifetime of hurt.

She threw the hot soup at my direction anything to get a reaction.
You live in fear
of the next attack, revenge full act.


How can you feel safe when all this is about?

Im not weak far from it, but  I shouldn't of been so tolerate.
Thought it was normal for a time. It was only when my eyes were opened
I saw that other families did not live this way.

The war, the agony of psychological tormented phrases.

Its true that words can sting more than a bee.

I would rather be hit physcially than hear verbal sayings psychological abuse. Thats the truth.
emotional abuse is a killer to your heart.