Talking to myself (triggering post)

Here I am writing but the thoughts aren't quite connecting with my brains pathways.
Have had a strange old day spilt my water twice over the art table whilst my brushes were in soak
Such a clutz
And strangely enough that's not the normal me

Made me feel quite uneasy.
Things like that seemed to be happening to me.

Like the cold weather had let in a chill up my spine.
Here I have been freezing my tail off,
Nothing I wear seems to be adequately warm enough.

Socks are a lifesaver though. Warming those tootsies,
Back in my bed now
Snug as a bug the rug

Spoke to someone today someone who's qualified enough to respond to my questions
asked them the hard word on what it's like
To see and deal with a dead persons body.
She tried to tell me the horror stories.
What's wrong with me still doesn't sink in,

Obviously it's not a pleasant experience
But my brain makes it seems to make it be pleasurable.

Hard to explain
She warned me regarding my organs
As she knew I nearly had organ failure last attempt,
Organ failure is horrid
Mental health patients who overdose aren't allow transplants, they miss out completely.
And 6 months down line can still die from an overdose.
Painful experience
Can't take it back.

Does any of this make a point to me. I don't know
As I still keep thinking the same